Being Stood Up

"hey

you big bag of tiny penises."

Our Glorious Beginning

"I'm going to wrestle to the floor hold you down and spank you like a little boy . . . gets spanked by a, uh, a pedophile priest."

Many critiques can be made of this shitty, shitty smack talk. I will leave them as an exercise for the reader, pausing only to note the fundamental lack of clarity in the second clause. Will "Louis" spank "you" as a little boy would, or will "he" spank you as "he" would a little boy? Only time, and awkward comments about recent tragic scandals in the Roman Catholic Church, will tell.